If your relationship has grown old and stale it is all too easy to let the romance escape and become but a distant memory. The good news is that there are steps you can take to re-ignite the spark in your relationship, here’s the top three;
Jump-starter 1: Communicate
How long has it been since you’ve spoken? Now take the time recording and forget it. How long has it been since you’ve spoken candidly about your needs, desires and fantasies?
Months? Years? Never?
Don’t start the conversation in the bedroom. Sit down over dinner and rewind to the start of your relationship. Relive the giddy, fleeting hand-holding days, where making love was honest and visceral. Tread carefully around old wounds and insecurities; explore their validity, recognise your failures together and move on.
Jump Starter 2: Trust
Trust is brittle, hard to earn and sorely missed. After communicating your needs and experimenting with erogenous zones, move on from the basics of boobs, butt, neck and balls into a brave new world of nerve endings and limits. Bondage is red letter word, traditionally sewn into an alternative culture and pedalled as dark, dangerous and degrading. While there are fringe aspects of the kink that can be harmful, bondage is primarily a trust exercise in submission and acceptance. Surrendering your body and impulses to the control of your partner is liberating, within the rule of course. Discussing safe words, limits, grey boundaries and play rules will test your communication skills. If you can’t agree on any of the above, step back to Jump Starter 1 and analyse any communication break-downs. If you’re ready to move forward, start small with beginner handcuffs or rope, progressing as your comfort and trust levels build.
Jump Starter 3: Fantasy
On the hierarchy of titillation, your brain is the dominant sex organ. Without psychological and emotional stimuli, physical sex is something to do to pass the time, scratch an itch and satisfy any biological urge on the horizon. Seduction and intimacy embrace the mechanics of physicality and saturate the brain in feel-good chemicals, climaxing in heightened arousal, sensitivity and anticipation.
Communication, Trust and Fantasies are essential components to keep your relationship in good repair.